About Adoption
For more information on pregnancy and adoption and access to free counseling services, check out http://www.itsaboutlove.org/. The following is taken from the website:
Adoption Basics
Choosing adoption for your child is like becoming a member of a new world with its own vocabulary, people, and customs. Often most of what we know about adoption comes from TV and usually does not accurately reflect the real experiences of the women and men who choose adoption out of a desire to give their child the brightest possible future. In order to make an informed decision about adoption, you’ll want to have the most accurate information. We invite you to come acquaint yourself with a few things you may not know about the adoption world.
Adoption has changed dramatically over the last several years. It is now common practice for expectant parents to choose the family they want as parents for their child, and often this choice is made from among a large pool of adopting families. You are able to consider families with characteristics that matter to you, whether that is education, interests, lifestyle, or even whether the mother works outside of the home. There is also not the same concern for secrecy. Most adoptions in today’s world are semi-open or open, meaning that there continues to be contact after the baby is born. This may include the exchange of pictures and letters, phone calls, e-mails, invitations to family events, or any other situations that work for the child, you, and the adopting family. As you are getting to know the family you select, you will likely begin having conversations about what each of you expects in the future. These decisions often evolve over time, but are the beginnings of your adoption plan.
- Adoption has its own language.
Some terms that are commonly used to talk about adoption can be offensive to mothers who have chosen adoption—terms like “giving up your baby” or “putting your child up for adoption.” These terms indicate a lack of love or a failure to take responsibility and do NOT accurately represent the actions and feelings of those who choose adoption. Birth mothers are more likely to say that they “placed their baby with an adoptive family” or “chose adoption for their child.” Learning the language of adoption empowers you with the terms to best represent yourself and your right to do what is best for you and your baby.
- Not everyone agrees that adoption is a valid option.
Adoption is a loving choice which puts the best interests of children first. It’s also a choice that seems to rouse strong feelings from those who may not have fully informed opinions. When others learn about your desire to consider adoption, you may be overwhelmed by the responses you receive. Most will be quite positive about adoption, but sadly others may be negative. It is not your job to address, or correct, all the misconceptions there are about adoption, but you will want to figure out a way to not let others’ opinions override your own beliefs about what is right for you. Click here to read some advice from others who learned to do this.
- You can learn from others who have gone before you.
Feeling like you are the only one to consider adoption in a world that only values abortion or raising a child alone may leave you believing you’re wrong or kind of weird. It makes a difference to know and meet others who made the same choice, to hear how they have been affected by this decision, and to see how they have grown and healed through the process. Your caseworker will likely be able to introduce you to someone in your area. Or, click here to hear the experiences of Sierra or Tamra or others. You’ll likely discover that your story is not that much different from theirs.
Hopefully you feel a bit more informed about adoption. Of course this was only an introduction. If you are interested in exploring your options or have questions about how adoption would work in your situation, contact a counselor at LDS Family Services. They are there to help you find the solutions that are right for you.
